Photo: Channel 4.
As we mourn the end of Made in Chelsea season five, I’ve suddenly realised that most of the male cast members have reality TV romance skeletons in their closets. Name one male cast member of reality TV show Made in Chelsea who you’d want dating your best friend, daughter or sister. It’s a tough call, isn’t it? On screen at least, all of the main male cast members have been guilty of behaving less than ideally – it does make for some great television.
Spencer is the prime example, of course, but he is definitely not the only offender. His antics around the subjects of his attention – Funda (remember her?), Caggie, Louise and now Lucy – leave quite a lot to be desired. His actions outside the show (becoming The Bachelor when he was allegedly still dating Louise) and then cheating on Louise with someone in her own bed make me want to slap him just as hard as Millie did in that season four episode.
*Warning: Contains swearing and mild, but deserved, violence*
Other male cast members also make me want to hurl things at the TV. Hugo cheated on Millie with her friend Rosie. Jamie persuaded Binky that he was falling for her, slept with her, then changed his mind the next morning. Recently, it has been suggested on the programme he kissed Lucy in the hot tub, while being in a new relationship with elusive cast member Tara. Also while in this relationship, he has consistently flirted with new cast member Phoebe. Andy, as angelic as he seems now in the midst of his Louise crisis, did the same thing to Binky as Jamie did. (Poor Binky.) Ollie broke up with Gabriella early on in the Made in Chelsea game, which sent her into a tail spin. When she was finally becoming normal again, he slept with her on a holiday. This action and the resulting awkwardness culminated in Gabriella’s exit from the show. Francis started dating Ashley while having feelings for Sophia, then broke up with her (apparently not taken well, as their next meeting was rather bitter). A romance between Caggie and Proudlock was suggested, which then took an odd turn when he decided to take her cousin on a romantic boat ride.
It’s not until you think back through each character’s past that the trail of destruction becomes clear. I know that it’s not just the boys that are guilty of making bad choices (Lucy has dated Jamie, Andy and Spencer. Millie also cheated on Hugo. Sophia couldn’t decide between Proudlock and Francis), but it does seem to be universal across the male gender in the show. Constructed reality or not is this really what we can expect from our 20-somethings? It’s throwing some light on what my baby brother’s life might be like (he’s 22 – of course, he would never… or would he?) The one light at the end of the tunnel is Stevie who, as yet, has not been dragged into any dodgy female-related storylines. I wonder how long he can hold out. I guess we’ll find out in season six…