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Posts tagged ‘exercise’

2013 downsizing

Image from Sean MacEntee’s Flickr.

I know that everyone else is still all hung up on the Christmas season and, yes, officially the actual day of the birth of the baby called Jesus has not officially passed but, to be honest, I’m all Christmassed out and all for a little bit of New Year New Life planning.

This probably comes from working on a magazine where we are just about to start our Spring issue (it comes after the March issue, in case you were wondering, which you probably weren’t) and my work Christmas decorations came down a couple of months ago. Any bright and shiny festive spirit will be likely to reoccur after I work at the Olympia Horse Show next week – nothing says ‘wake up and smell the mulled wine’ like a horse show in the middle of London.

So blogging about the festive season aside, at least until next week, I’m thinking about what I’m going to do in the year of 2013 and it mainly involves downsizing…

A) Myself. As impressed as I am that I managed to maintain actual exercise in a real life sweaty gym for virtually the whole of 2012, I must try harder. Next year I want there to be less of me, not just to be fit enough to carry my bulk.

B) To aid point A, I must also reduce my office snacking by improving my willpower and drinking herbal tea. This already sounds dull and difficult.

C) Handbag – I have ‘handbag shoulder’, which is like tennis elbow except completely related to carrying a bag the size of a small country around filled with heavy things like notebooks and useless coins (I even have Icelandic coins rattling around). Notebooks are coming out. Rediscovered Pocket Malden Filofax is going in as a purse/diary. I will find a smaller bag, too. After all, if I achieve point A, I might very well collapse under the weight of my own bag.

D) Time spent watching reality TV. What a waste of my life, unless I’m getting paid to review it, in which case I’m all over it like a rash.

E) Money out of my bank account. Enough said.

F) Wine. According to the research I did for a feature recently, wine causes lots of bad things like irregular brain patterns, messing up digestion and bloating as your body tries to dilute the toxins you’ve put in. Also January is Dryathlon month, where you can give up alcohol for one whole month to raise money for Cancer Research, so I figure why not combine the two?

Well that’s all I can think of right now. Are you downsizing in the new year? I want to know how! Also, a suggested starting point – sign up for the Dryathlon and do it with me! What a great way to kick off your Christmas detox and raise money for a great cause at the same time.

When I’m alone, I’m Lara Croft

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Photo by cogdogblog on Flickr

I have a confession to make. When I’m alone, I’m Lara Croft. I don’t mean that’s my real name or that I’ve changed my name by deed poll, or even that I wear khaki pants and carry various concealed weapons. Instead I’m a full on action hero jumping from rock to rock, throwing and catching with ease and saving the world, one small – but infinitely dangerous – task at a time. Well… in my head anyway. I’m on a mission, I have a higher purpose and most importantly I’m super agile. (I was actually genuinely confused earlier when I dropped the dog’s ball thrower while deftly passing it from hand to hand in quick succession.)

Now, for a girl, I understand that this is actually fairly odd – although I’m relying on all you action girls to come out of the woodwork and make me seem slightly more normal. I’m given to understand though, that this is quite a common thing for boys. From a young age, they are Superman or Batman or, in my age range, a Power Ranger or a Teenage Mutant Hero Turtle. Then they get older and they become Bond or Jack Bauer. They do, honest. Remember David Beckham reliving the Bond boat ride up the Thames at the London 2012 opening ceremony? There is no way that was his first time. I’ve never seen a grown man looking quite so much like a child living the dream. I bet he has regularly pretended to be Bond in his spare time. If I was him, I would, too.

And now I’ve made my confession to you, I should probably also let you know that I’m honing my female action hero skills. ‘How?’ you may ask. Firstly, I’m watching a lot of Nikita. I wish I could slow-mo the fight scenes. Secondly, I’m taking a Body Combat class. After the first class, I had never been in so much pain. So much for my action figure bionic body (yes, it’s all in my head). But I’m getting better and no I no longer hurt, woo! Next step, I’ll have to take some sword fighting classes and sign up a geekily hot, but absurdly smart net geek with unlimited resources. Someone like Nolan Ross from Revenge. I’m off to look into that. If you want to hire me for a top secret mission, I’ll be roundhouse kicking my way around my dog walk.

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